Sales Rep's Story

For a number of years I worked very happily as a sales rep in the retail motorcycle trade in and around the London area, it was great fun and ended when the recession of the early nineties blew in and blew out many jobs.

Whilst waiting for the stores manager in a dealers in NW London I was smoking the inevitable cigarette and drinking coffee. The sales assistant and I were chatting when a motorcycle courier breathlessly rushed in. "Got any bungee straps?" he asked the assistant.

"How long do you want it?" was the reply.

"Nah, wanna keep it mate!"

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Another dealers and yet more coffee and nicotine. Enter another courier minus jacket and helmet with very oily hands. "Got an adjustable spanner?"

"Yeh, metric or imperial?" came the response.

"Dunno, it's for a Honda."

"Right it's metric that you want then."

The assistant wandered off into the stores at the back of the shop, returning a minute or so later with the requested item and placed it on the counter. "There you are, that'll be £7.27, you want a bill I suppose?"

"Course I do" said the oily handed one.

Money and receipt changed hands, then the assistant said "By the way, it's your lucky day mate, that's the last metric one we had in stock!"

Exit one grateful courier leaving me in helpless giggles ...

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Sitting in my rep's car in the Marylebone Road one morning, the traffic was almost solid and barely moving. The lane to my offside was going slightly faster than the one I was in but I decided to stay in that lane.

IN my offside mirro I saw a rather battered Renault Fuego creeping past. One headlight was broken and the nearside headlight was broken. As it slid further past the nearside looked as though it had been made from corrugated iron sheeting, multi-coloured and rusty.

Once past me I saw that the rear bumper was missing and one rear light was broken. Then I noticed the sticker in the rear window, it read:

"IN GOD WE TRUST"

Right made my day that did!!!

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Finally, yet again in a traffic queue, this time in Great Portland Street I noticed a large luton van parked in the kerb. The back was very grimy underneath which was a closed roller shutter. Inscribed in the dirt on the shutter was the following: "Beware, Bulk Marmalade Delivery".

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