Vive La Difference?

There may be just 21 miles (or 34kms) of water between England and France but that is small compared to some of the cultural differences found in la belle France. Some of these do seem very odd to an expat Englishman taking some degree of time to adjust to them. In many ways there is preference for the cultural vagaries as most stem from a more sedate pace of life and holding on to old fashioned values.

One of the most noticeable differences is when shopping, more correctly when trying to shop. Very few shops are open for business on Sundays, the vast majority neither open on Mondays. Traditional opening hours are 0900 to 1900 with the exception of a virtually unassailable lunch break from 1200 to 1500. The mid-day recess is taken very seriously, most shops will put up the 'Closed' sign about ten or even fifteen minutes prior, woe betide any hapless shopper who is still on the premises at the stroke of a nearby church bell. This sacrosanct tradition applies to businesses other than shops as well, all of which makes a good degree of planning necessary for shoppers. There is happily a chink in the armour for the disorganised of this foreign world; most hypermarkets do not close during the day.

Eating out is a different game too. Diners used to UK habits are able to eat at all hours of the day whereas lunch here is served from mid-day until two o'clock with last orders taken about thirty minutes previously.  Eateries reopen at seven o'clock, usually closing some three hours later. Etiquette is important too in such places, breaches often result in very firm stares or shaking of heads. Pouring wine, what could be simpler? The rule is that ladies at the table never pour wine in public, it is always done by their male companions, breaches will be firmly noted! Lettuce, which is eaten in abundance, should never be cut with a knife rather torn or pulled apart. As for mobile phones they are either switched off or if a rare call is received then the recipient will excuse themselves from the table and take the call outside. There is a further confusion, the cheese course is always taken before dessert!

When I was child the rule firmly applied was that elbows shall not be placed upon a dining table. That rule has had to be forgotten because it is perfectly acceptable, even the rule, for hands and elbows to rest upon a table. The apparent reason is that hands concealed below tabletop level may be up to mischief!  Further retraining has been necessary in the use of cutlery as it is not unusual for only a fork to be used when eating, first having cut into bite sized pieces any large items on the plate. Then there is the actual resting of cutlery whilst eating; knife and fork placed together at the English finished position on a plate of half past six signifies that the diner has not finished but would like some more as does the twenty to four placing. When finished the cutlery should be placed together at the twenty past four position. A further trap for the unwary is that after each course the knife and fork should be retained for the next. Finally napkins, if a person leaves the table intending to return then it should be left neatly on the table, should a napkin be placed on a chair then the diner has left the table.

Tales of French toilets are legendary, thankfully today much has been done to improve matters. The obvious difference is that toilets are invariably unisex, one size fits all so to speak. One thing that puzzled me for quite a while was that in any public establishment the sign for them always read 'Toilettes', that is plural so obviously there should be more than one. Oh no, in many places there was just a single, solitary item of sanitary ware, then it dawned on me that the plural device meant men and women. Happily the old style hole in the floor items have largely been replaced by conventional European items albeit that many do not sport any sort of separate seat but at least there is progress!

Venturing into shops as opposed to super/hypermarkets also has its own customs. Upon entering a cheerful 'Bonjour' is customary with a similar reply given by customers and staff. When leaving it customary to say 'Au revoir et bonne journée' (goodbye, have a good day). This only is applicable in some parts of France notably the southern part, try it in northern France and frosty looks will be given to the carrot crunching interloper. Visiting England on one occasion I went into a small paper shop, customers were waiting to be served, unthinkingly I blurted out a cheery 'Good morning'. Strange looks all round with the obvious thoughts that an inmate had escaped! In a similar vein is the conundrum of not only whether to kiss, how many and beginning with which cheek, the greeting varies widely throughout the country.

As a rule the French do not send Christmas cards but are prolific with New Year and Easter cards, took a little while to assimilate that idea. Neither are they heavy on get well cards.

The British tend to be very reserved and insular as a race whereas their Gallic counterparts are much more open. In our local villages total strangers will smile and wish 'bonjour' as they pass in the street, that certainly took a while to feel comfortable. Sometimes when shopping in a supermarket I will sit in the mall behind the checkouts just watching .the world go by, it is surprising how many young children with their mums will smile at me. It is wonderfully refreshing to be able to return that smile without any fear of the paedo police appearing post haste.

In Britain to invite a friend to drop in for a cup of tea is a natural thing to, the invitation is open at all reasonable times. Not so in France as the invitee will never drop in as it is seen as an intrusion, they will only turn up when a firm date is made with time etc. This applies not only to new acquaintances bt also those of long standing.

One major difference that can cause, irritation, frustration and accidents is the traffic rule of give way to traffic from the right. Thankfully this usually applies only within built up areas but not at all junctions so road signs and markings have to watched carefully. It was only after several years living here as well as a number of near misses that the origins of this confusing rule were discovered. In the days of horse drawn vehicles some with up to six animals turning from a side road onto another was fraught with danger especially as many properties were built directly facing on to the roadside rendering it impossible for the driver of such a wagon or cart to see if any traffic was approaching. This rule undoubtedly made things safer at the time but for this to persist today is, to me, utter nonsense and dangerous/

There are so many small but significant cultural differences between the two nations which may take a while to become accustomed, the key is to try and understand and adapt to those ways to make life easier. It is not that I agree with all such traditions but when in Rome do as the Romans do ...